Hi

Hello, Babylonians! How is life in the real world? Not as good as we've got it here, and you know it! As is customary, I am expected to explain my experiences to people. This serves as a two-pronged attack: firstly, y'all get to hear how awesome being a missionary is, and secondly, it prevents me from doing anything monumentally stupid because I would immediately have to relay it home.

Subject number one. Apparently my wonderful mother is preparing to send a package sometime soon including things that I need, and things that are simply nice to receive, and she wants a list of those things. The list goes as follows: five pairs of gym socks, cayenne pepper to spice up the food a little bit, Fels Naptha soap, just in case, addresses, a sharpie, a copy of my patriarchal blessing, which for the second time I have forgotten when leaving home for an extended period of time, air fresheners to make the room a little more homey, and any non-perishable foods that might be scrumptious late at night when we are hungry again, preferably in large enough portions to share, because you know that I will anyway.

Subject number two. My district is awesome. We have commented on the myriad sad cases of borderline disobedience in dress and blatant disregard for rules in the residence halls somtimes. These Elders will not receive the fulness of the blessings that they could if they were to be obedient. I can't say that I have been one hundred percent obedient, due to some late appearances to the classroom for personal study, but in my defense, some Elders have not been taught the concept of a short shower. I am in there for five minutes tops, ten minutes if there is no one outside. I have stood in line with two people in front of me for at least fifteen minutes as little hot shots take all the warm water and leave the rest of us hosed because we only have fifteen minutes left to get ready, including shaving, which most of you know how "easy" of a task that is for some of us who suffer from Tim Allen's Santa Clause Syndrome. On a lighter, funny note, one of the shower's makes me suffer from the "Buddy the Elf" Syndrome because I hit the back of my neck on it when I try to rinse off.

Finally, and most importantly, the spiritual stuff. We went to the temple this morning, and an older gentleman turned to his friend and said, "Look! we have an Army behind us!" And how right he is. My missionary scripture calls the reader to arms as a faithful soldier in Christ. Being out here is much like being at war, and the nice thing is that we already know that we are going to win! God is good and helps us all along the way. Do not forget that you are part of that Army, just in the reserves for now. Be ready to leave on command, and PUT YOUR PAPERS IN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

Godspeed, everyone!

Elder Lindsey